I was at a bar the other day for happy hour. My friend Marin and I were talking, and Martin asked an interesting question. Martin is around 35 or so, and has been seeing a woman for a three months. He calls her his Lady Friend, but doesn’t refer to her as his girlfriend.
Long story short, Lady Friend invited him to her family’s home for Easter. Martin was shocked to be invited to meet her family so soon. Which then begged the question: when is the appropriate time to meet the parents?
Martin’s take is that three months is not long enough. Our friend Jane agrees with him. Jane is even more conservative with bringing home dates than Martin is. If you want to meet her parents, Jane tells us, you can figure on dating her at least a year before you get that invitation.
My story was a bit stickier, and I hesitated before offering it. My boyfriend invited me to meet his parents early in the relationship. Really early. Like, five weeks into the relationship early. My friends were shocked, and asked ‘what did you do?’
Simple: I went.
‘Turned out fine, we’re still together and happy nearly a year later.’ That doesn’t mean that I was comfortable with five weeks though. In fact I waited several more months before inviting my boyfriend home to meet my parents.
There are a number of factors to consider when you determine when you want to invite your partner to meet your parents. You need to weigh the pros and cons. On one hand, too soon and your significant other will feel rushed and uncomfortable. Nobody likes to be pressured.
But on the other hand, an invitation is a good way to gauge whether your partner is serious.
That is something you do want to know, and it may be better to find this out sooner rather than later. Wouldn’t you want to know rather than waste your time?
Martin? Well, Martin decided to stay home with his own family, and had a lovely Easter. He’ll visit Lady Friend’s parents after a few more months have passed.
See more of this writer’s advice on topics including the gas leak detector and the leak detector.